HOW MUCH LONGER WILL I HAVE TO WAIT, LORD?

HOW MUCH LONGER WILL I HAVE TO WAIT, LORD?
HOW MUCH LONGER WILL I HAVE TO WAIT
TO BEGIN TO LIVE?
HOW MUCH LONGER WILL I HAVE TO WAIT
TO BEGIN TO LOVE?

Time does not come. I wanted a connection. How long will I live alone?
Surrounded by angels, but with no one who understands my truth.
I prefer to sleep and visit you rather than stay awake. At least then I feel an exchange, a true understanding of my being.

Until when?
I no longer want to wait. I do not like doubt, uncertainty — it corrodes us from the inside.
A man speaks of what his heart is full of; my heart is full of waiting.
The future does not exist, there is only the now. I want to live it in the now.
So many signs, so many confirmations, so many synchronicities, but no evidence.
No evidence that I am not deluding myself.
Forgive me, God, for my impatience.