I wished there were an explanation for everything: why are we the way we are? What would truly resolve our deep existential emptiness? To understand the reason behind everything.
When I think about love, I have come to understand it as the feeling we have toward that which we value. Jesus said to love God and that this was the greatest commandment. God is everything, because God is the true and only consciousness, and all consciousnesses are processed within His consciousness. He is the One who sees through our eyes, and He is everything, everyone, and anything.
To love God is to give value to life, to experiences, to realities, to people, and to oneself.
Today I know that I have a purpose, and my purpose today is to follow Christ, so that I may live on the path of truth and life. I may not understand, but I feel the difference, and to me, that is everything.
Nothing is more important than this. Nothing has importance without this. I suffered so much, but it was my responsibility. Christ allowed me to change and choose better behaviors and thoughts for myself, so that I could be happier.
Today, this is what I want: change. I want to transform myself into what Christ sees in me, into what I can become. I want to be who Christ can mold me into. Because I trust in Christ with all my understanding, with all my soul, and with all my heart.
I want to be filled. I know there is a happiness that does not depend on circumstances; that is what I want. I want the happiness that I know only Christ will teach me to feel.
The only thing we have in this world is our own company and God’s. Everything else is temporary, everything else ends, everything else is an illusion.
Life comes down to this: your relationship with God. That is what I understand from the first commandment. To me, it is what makes sense, and to me, it is what is right.
And, thank God, I can already feel this relationship. Thank God, I know that He is real.
Fragments of an awakened soul 